Publishing Final Grade
by Sailor Zoisite aka Shinigami
Summary: I want to publish Final Grade as a non-Gundam Wing book and I need help!


Title: Publishing Final Grade

Title: Publishing Final Grade

Author: Sailor Zoisite, the Wannabe Shinigami

Pairings: Friggin' free-for-all . . .

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing and its characters aren't mine, I'm not making money, don't sue, blah blah blah. Final Grade is, and may not be used without permission.

Notes: This came about because I'm not allowed to post non-fanfiction at fanfiction.net. Surprising how that works, ne? ^.~

In a dark room lit only by a neon pink light bulb and a computer screen, a young woman huddles over said computer screen and bangs her head on the desk. Lurking in the shadows, the Gundam pilots and OZies, along with the Gundam women, cast suspicious glances at the young blonde as she starts typing furiously, talking to herself.

"Must get chapter 10 out . . . Maya's birthday soon . . . Must find out how to self-publish and how much WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?" She looks up, blue eyes wide with rage, then turns and pounces on two random characters. "You! Fuck! NOW!"

Wincing and at the complete mercy of the deranged author, Treize and General Septum head off to a corner to do the girl's bidding. The other characters gag as she cackles.

"Oooh! An *idea*!" Out of no where, Sailor Star Healer from Sailor Moon appears, carrying a huge-ass stick with "Big Stick O' Musedom" on it and whacks the young woman. She goes sprawling, embedded in the wall and after a few moments pulls herself out, glaring at her muse. "*No*! Bad muse. Bad." She sniffles, then grabs three random people. "Fuck. Now." With sighs, Dorothy, Abdul and Howard head to another corner. More gagging ensues. Once again seated, the young woman rubs her head and sticks her tongue out at her muse, then cowers when he waves his stick around threateningly. "I'll get to it," she tells him. "Right after I finish Final Grade and Forgotten Dreams and Shattered Melody and oh, did I mention Errant Dreams? And the other billion fics you're making me write? Sniffling for effect, she turns back to the screen and starts cursing it.

After a group huddle, the non-fucking Gundam Wing characters break apart and shove Quatre at the girl. He walks up nervously, but hey, he survived ZERO System, he can certainly survive the wrath of this particular author. Maybe.

"Uhm . . . Zoisite?" After a death glare from the girl, he hastily rephrases. "Zoisite-sama? What's wrong?"

"Blow me, pretty boy. You're too damned cute to be trustworthy."

"Uhm . . ." Quatre sighs. "I'm sorry. Is there something we --- I mean, I can help you with?"

Sensing an audience who will pity her, Sailor Zoisite, the Wannabe Shinigami turns around and pushes her lower lip out, eyes getting big and filling with tears. Against the wall, the real Trowa Barton shudders. She points to the computer screen. "Th, th, the s-s-site s-said th-that I n-need f-f-f-f-ive hhhhhhundred buyers, at least, if I wanna . . . wanna publish Final Grade!" she wails, clinging to Quatre and sobbing.

Face nearly obscured by sweatdrops, Quatre pats Zoisite's back consolingly. "Uhm . . . You *what*?" He looks more nervous than before looks at the other characters for support.

"I wanna publish Final Grade as a non-Gundam Wing book!" Zoisite wails again. "But the site said that I need at *least* five hundred buyers! Five hundred to three *thousand*! It's NOT FAIR!!!!"

"All right . . . How many people want to buy it now?"

Zoisite pushes Quatre down and gets up, pacing. "Not enough. Not *nearly* enough."

"So you're writing a fanfic to post on Fanfiction.net as a way of advertising your need."

"Yes." Zoi turns around and snuggles up against the real Trowa Barton. "Will you help, Fluffy?"

Rolling his eyes but unable to resist his Miko, Trowa wraps his arms around Zoisite's waist and nods. "Yeah, yeah, I'll help . . ."

"Good." Grabbing Ralph Kurt, Zoisite pushes them together. "Go screw." As the two men scamper off, Zoi turns her gaze to Trow . . . Tri . . . the other . . . ah, hell, to the Unibanged Wonder. "Oaky, Bang Boy."

One visible eye widening slightly, Tro - Tri -

"Just call him HIM," Yaten-muse growls. Zoisite cringes.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Start jabbering. Tell everyone what they need to know. This is a commercial, for the love of the Goddess!"

HE thinks for a moment, then looks around. "Uhm . . . E-mail Zoisite and join her mailing list to support her." Once done, HE looks warily at Zoisite.

She whirls, jabbing her finger at Heero. "You next!"

Heero scowls but clears his throat. "Read Final Grade. If you like it and would want to buy it if it were published as a non-Gundam Wing book, join Zoisite's mailing list or e-mail her and tell her."

"MAXWELL! Quite making out with Relena and TALK!"

Duo jumps and hands a flustered Relena to Wufei, leaving them to make out while he starts talking. "Yes indeed! If five hundred or more people are willing to guy the published, non-Gundam Wing version of Final Grade then Sailor Zoisite, our lovely Wannabe Shinigami, will do her best to make it happen! So step right up, place your orders NOW!" He waits until Zoisite starts drooling over Wufei and Relena before joining the two.

". . . Oh!" Zoisite shakes herself. "Wufei! Now!"

"What more needs said?" He snorts and goes back to undressing Relena.

"Fine. Be that way. See if . . . if . . . If I ever write a 5xR again! HMPH!" Sulking, Zoisite looks around. "Let's see . . . Before you and Heero drag HIM into a threesome, Quatre! Tell them more?" Zoisite gives him a pleading look and the Winner heir submits to her will. She can, after all, write a Maguanac Corps x 4. "Don't *even* tempt, me, Yaten-muse." Yaten-muse puts his stick down and grumbles as Quatre clears his throat.

"Well, if you're interested in supporting Zoisite, then join her mailing list at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FinalGrade/ and join or just add your name to the database, or e-mail her at SailorZoisite@gundamwing.org and let her know. The help is much appreciated and Zoisite really wants to publish Final Grade. However, due to the fact that it contains a student/teacher relationship, cross-dressing *and* homosexuality, she's pretty sure she'd get lynched if she tried to sell the idea to a publisher. So, self-publishing seems to be the way." He glances longing at where Heero's removing HIS clothing, then at Zoisite.

With a cheery grin Zoisite sends Quatre off to play, then looks around and realizes that everyone is getting some but her.

"GODDESS DAMN IT! Haven't I told you all NO FUCKING UNLESS I'M WRITING OR READING IT?!?!?"

Oaky, despite the humor (attempted humor, at least) of this ficlet, I really do want to publish Final Grade, and I really do need help with it. I'd appreciate all the support I can get. Thank you! ::Smooches:: ^o^


End file.
